By reading this document you agree that you are a current resident of the
planet Earth and are a member of the living and at no point have you been
dead unless you were revived by medical personel. You also agree that you
will not rip off this document for any purpose, and any spreading of it will
be in it's complete, unaltered form and you'll leave the damn thing in one
piece unless you happen to be the writer of this. But you aren't, only I am.
Get it? By reading any further down you are agreeing that you will NOT claim
this as you're own, you will NOT post it unless you ask me first (I'll say
yes, but I want to keep track) and you ARE a human that has been alive all
your life. Get it? By reading any further down you are agreeing with the
Scrolls, the other white meat. Wit a minute, that's not write! Get it?
Scrolls? Write? Okay that's enough bad jokes. If you find one of the many
millions of scrolls I have undoubtedly missed, send me the name and
descrition of them and I'll put you in the thanks section. It's lonely in
there and I want someone else in there. Here they are, in the order I found
them and followed by a description and/or anecdote, the scrolls:
|"This useful magic scroll allows you to determine the properties of any
You'll want a lot of these. I mean a LOT. You won't believe the amount of
stuff you'll want to Identify. Do not waste them.
|"This allows you to detect the presence of cursed items among your
I don't use these much. I equip the item and use a scroll of Remove Curse if
it's cursed. But others might use it, and since it tears through your whole
inventory looking for curses, it would definately have it's uses. But I just
don't have the patience.
|"Reading this scroll removes curses from the items you are using"
These things rule, especially if your way of id'ing is to equip it. Which is
my idea. Without one of these things Murphy's laws say that the next thing
you find will be a Cursed -5 million Ring of Strength or something.
|"It is easy to be blinded by the essential uselessness of this scroll by the
sense of achievement you get from getting it to work at all"
I hate these things, because you need to waste an id'ing scroll to find out
what they are, because there is no other way of id'ing it. "Your +3,+3 hand
axe glows bright mauve for a moment" has to be the most irritating phrase
|Enchant Weapon 1
|"This scroll places an enchantment on a weapon, making it more accurate in
combat. It may fail to affect weapons already heavily enchanted"
I prefer this to the other one because big weapons are a bugger to hit with.
This gives it an extra +1,+0. The weapon glows bright green as well, which I
personally think reveals your presence which is not a good thing for a
spriggan assassin sneaking through a camp of orcs while being invisible but
even the most stupid orc will notice a floating bright green dagger and oh
dear I'm rambling again aren't I... but maybe it was just a coincidence.
|"This scroll induces an irritating disorientation"
Wipes out your mental map for that level except for about 1 in 8 squares. I
just pop down a level before reading any scroll in case it's one of these.
Because I MUST clear every level before heading down. It's just what I do.
|"This scroll causes great fear in those who see the one who reads it"
Makes everything around run away, but I think they recover way too fast
(about two steps, usually) to be useful. But it can give you some breathing
space, which can save your life if you have a few potions that can help you.
|Enchant Weapon 2
|"This scroll places an enchantment on a weapon, making it inflict more
damage in combat. It may fail to affect weapons already heavily enchanted"
Same as Enchant Weapon 1, but for damage and it glows bright red instead.
|"This prank scroll, often slipped into a wizard's backpack by a devious
apprentice, causes a loud noise. It is not otherwise noted for its
Not really good unless you're a melee'er and you can take anything that
might be in earshot. But I think the point of this scroll was to be bad, so
people don't id stuff by reading it unless they think they're safe.
|"This scroll places a curse on (a weapon/your armour)"
Does what it says. I hate these things, but some morgue dumps I've seen from
other people had all their stuff cursed. I dunno why, but anyway I say dump
these things. Get it? Morgue dump, dump the scrolls? Jeez, that is a
reeeeaaaallllly bad joke.
|"This scroll restores the charges of any magical wand wielded by the reader"
Good. Very good. Think of it as a few more monsters disintergrated or darted
or ice bolted or more speed or strength for you. Because that's what it
provides, depending on what wands you have. Just make sure to unwield the
wand after, because not many monsters are harmed by a big beefy guy smacking
them over the head with a thin piece of wood instead of a huge battle-axe...
I wonder if Conan had these problems?
|"This scroll reveals the nearby surroundings of one who reads it"
I love these babies because it tells you what's what on your level. Running
away into the unknown but don't know whether to turn left or right? These
babies'll help. Exploring but unsure of where you have and haven't been yet?
These babies'll help. I like 'em. So should you.
|"Reading the words on this scroll translocates you to a random position"
Can (and probably will) save your hindquarters in a battle, because this can
get you somewhere safe. Or somewhere worse. Or two steps to the right. There
is a one or two turn delay before it kicks in, which has ended up
teleporting corpses many MANY times in the past for everyone.
|"Apart from a label, this scroll is blank"
What can I say? Useless. Not bad, not good, just useless. It's blank, okay?
No habla english, hmm? Well, it DOES NOT WORK. Get it yet? You can stop
reading here, because it does NOTHING. Not a thing. Stop reading. I'm
warning you, stop reading. STOPPIT! Stop it NOW. It is BLANK. Is that so
hard to understand? I'm sick of it. One more time. IT DOES ZILCH, ZERO,
NOTHING to ANYTHING in ANY WAY at ANY TIME in ANY PLACE for ANY REASON. Some
people just don't get it...
|"This scroll allows its reader to teleport a short distance, with precise
control. Be wary that controlled teleports will cause the subject to become
contaminated with magical energy"
In english, teleports you to anywhere in your line of sight that is empty.
And if you blink too much, you mutate (bad mutation) because that's what too
much magic does to you.
Goblinzking (me) for writing this damn thing
The maker of the best game in the world. Oh... and Linley aswell.
By the way, I'm making amulet and wand versions of these too so send me
those descriptions and names at email@example.com.